


Leaves and Lavender

by ghosts_and_lemons



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Maxine "Max" Mayfield, F/F, lesbian eleven, lesbian jane hopper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2019-12-18 09:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosts_and_lemons/pseuds/ghosts_and_lemons
Summary: Jane begins to question why only girls and boys kiss and Max starts to stand out from the rest of the party





	1. "Can Girls Kiss Girls?"

**Author's Note:**

> (side note, the way I’m doing names us that Jane is her real name but close friends and family call her El so !)

“It’s three in the morning El!” Will whispered sleepily after Jane shook him awake,

Jane and Hopper had moved in recently. It was decided that Jane would would sleep on a mattress on the floor in Will’s room until Jonathan went to University.

Will liked having her with him, especially since they provided each other with a lot of support when they had nightmares or flashbacks but it wasn’t all so bleak, Jane and Will genuinely cared for and loved each other being closer had made them both a lot happier.

One thing Will didn’t like was how Jane would wake him up in the night to ask him random questions, this would happen at least once a week and Will was never too enthusiastic about answering Jane’s weird midnight questions about why Eggos are called Eggos or why it smells different in the living room to Will’s room.

This time was different though, this was the first time Will had no idea what to say. Jane asked him a question he had been asking himself for a long time. “Why do only boys and girls kiss?” as soon as she asked the question the atmosphere became tense, making Jane a feel a little uneasy.

She had asked many random questions on the subject of romance since turning Mike down when he asked to be her boyfriend. Why was this different? Jane had never understood why Mike thought that would happen, to her they’d always been and always would be just friends. And they were, because she had no interest in dating, it just seemed like a very complicated version of friendship to her, why would you spend extra time with a boy just to do more complicated versions of the stuff you do with all your other friends?

Will had been unresponsive for a while. “Will?” Jane said impatiently and a little cautiously. She didn’t know why but this time felt different, usually she’d wake him up, ask a question that she’d thought about while trying to fall asleep, he would answer tiredly and she’d be able to sleep again, that’s just how it went but this time Will was wide awake after she had asked him, he didn’t seem to understand her question so she was about to ask again when he said finally replied “Uuh…well” he paused for another few seconds. 

“Sometimes two boys or two girls kiss…”

“Then why have I never seen it before? The boys and girls at school only ever kiss each other.” Jane asked rather quickly. The fact that Will had said that two girls sometimes kiss each other made her feel…weird. Her chest felt all light, her shoulders relaxed and her tummy felt like it was doing somersaults.

“Well…some people don’t like it so…” Will trailed off awkwardly.

“Why? Why don’t people like it?” Jane asked urgently, her eyes widened. For some reason knowing the reason why became very important to her and knowing that people didn’t like it made her feel weird again but in a very different way…her chest felt like it was sinking, her shoulders became stiff and her tummy was doing summersaults again but it felt different, like someone was pushing her intestines around very slowly.

Will didn’t really know what to say. He very quietly and flatly replied with

“Some people think it’s wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah, El, they think it’s disgusting.” Will replied bitterly

“You should go back to sleep, it’s late” Will added his voice beginning to crack slightly at the last few words.

“But-“ Jane began

“Just shut up El! Go to sleep!” He spoke his voice much louder than Jane expected, not even trying to hide the breaking in his voice or the tight feeling in his throat.

Jane flinched, she always hated loud noises.

“Okay.” She whispered dejectedly

Jane lay down on her makeshift bed and felt as the crushing reality of those questions sank in. She found it hard to sleep that night, she and Will both fell asleep with tears rolling down their cheeks, trying to be as silent as possible to not disturb the other. As Jane lay curled up in her duvet she thought of Max and smiled softly, she was yet to know what the feeling meant but she liked it. Jane sniffed, wiped her tears and rolled over, in about an hour of deep confused thought she finally fell asleep.


	2. Disgusting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst lol

Jane woke up with crusty eyes and strange thoughts clouding her mind. It was still early, she checked the clock on Will’s bedside table, 6:00am, she’d only been asleep for three hours and in another 30 minutes he had to get ready for school, great. She got up out of her mattress bed and waited for Hopper or Joyce to knock on the door to wake Will and her up for school. She could hear Will shifting in his sleep. Jane thought back to their conversation last night, Will seemed so, angry? sad? She couldn’t figure it out but whatever it was it wasn’t good and she felt responsible. 

 

The bike ride to school was uncomfortably quiet that morning until the others showed up. Mike was there first with the usual talk of whatever comic book he was into and the slight flush of red that struck his face when he made eye contact with Will, Lucas then joined and with him came Dustin and then, Max. Jane had that weird feeling again, her tummy was twisting and her chest felt light. Max looked so nice today, her hair was bright and messy and the sun shone in her blue eyes making them sparkle, she wore an old X-Men T-shirt that had been tucked into her jeans. Her shirt was a little tight and Jane liked the way it looked, her eyes scanned back up to Max’s face and she turned her head and made eye contact with Jane, she gave a small smile. Jane’s face turned pink and she hastily flashed a smile back quickly turning to look down at the handle bars on her bicycle. She suddenly heard her name being called.

“El? You coming?” Lucas asked for the second time. 

“Coming? To what?” She asked blankly, Lucas chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“This weekend? Mike’s basement?” Jane frowned

“Y’know, sleepover this weekend remember!” 

“Oh yeah, yes!” She replied quickly with a shy smile 

“What’s gotten into you, you’re like totally out of it this morning?” Mike questioned

“I-” she tried to reply but Dustin cut her off

“Maybe if she wasn’t staring at Max she’d have heard what you’d said” he said jokingly

Jane’s face turned bright red “What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

Lucas laughed “You better not be planning on stealing my girl huh?”

“She’s a girl I can’t-” Jane said confused 

“Ugh don’t worry about it they’re just being stupid” Max said rolling her eyes, a smile on her face 

The topic of conversation changed quite quickly after that and the ride to school was mostly normal but Jane couldn’t stop thinking about what Will had said that night ‘they think it’s disgusting’.

The word ‘disgusting’ was stuck in her mind all day.

Jane didn’t really talk during supper when she came home from school, she just listened to Will talk about art class and stared downat her plate of food. That night she didn’t ask Will any other questions, she couldn’t stop thinking that all night but she eventually fell asleep.

Jane woke up with a start she had a strange dream that made her worried. She was with Max and then she, she kissed her. Jane felt that light somersaulting stomach feeling again but that changed quickly, suddenly her heart sank. She had realised something, she wanted to kiss girls, the same way that boys do. She thought back to what Will had said last night ‘they think it’s disgusting’. 

That made her disgusting, Jane was disgusting and she didn’t want to be. This is who she was now, if she’s disgusting how can she be happy? How can she be normal? 

She got out of bed and went to the bathroom with tears streaming down her face, she turned to the mirror, “disgusting” she whispered. Jane couldn’t get the word out of her mind. She suddenly felt so angry, so sad she couldn’t understand the feeling exactly. She looked back at the mirror and she felt such anger to watch she saw, the tears still streaming down her face as she gazed at her reflection.

Her mind yelled “disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting” it said it over and over and she couldn’t take it, she collapsed onto the floor and tried her best to silence her sobs, she didn’t want to be different to her friends, and if they thought she was disgusting, she wouldn’t have any friends and without her friends she had nothing

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: ratgirlmax  
> instagram: sonderxus


End file.
